Glancing around his tidied up hotel room, Howie gave a satisfied smile. He walked over to the window and opened the curtains, revealing the typical scenery of America. Stuffing one hand into his pocket, he used his other hand to lean against the window and, from the 37th floor, gazed down at the tiny passer-bys on the street.

Today was his birthday.

He had gotten up long before nine o'clock just so that he didn't get his usual birthday morning call from the guys, like every other year. He had cleaned himself, made the bed, cleaned the tidbits left over on the table, and even cleaned the air using his favorite air refresher, floral essences. He had kept himself busy with all that and now, the hotel room itself looked even tidier than the one back at his own sweet home.

It was half past ten and they were still not there.

Patience had always been one of his virtues. However, that virtue was almost non-existent at this moment. He paced back and forth around the room and was wondering where they were.

"This is so stupid," he reprimanded himself. "I didn't want my birthday this year to be like all the others and yet, I'm wondering why they are still not here." He laughed dryly and grabbed the baseball cap from the table. "I shouldn't be here," he mumbled and went out of his room.

Howie's bodyguard noticed him and yelled for him when he was about to walk out of the hotel. "Oh man," he groaned.

"Where are you off to? Do you want me to come along?"

"Nah. I won't be recognized that easily," Howie replied, tugging at his baseball cap. "I'll be okay by myself."

"Alright then. And hey, Happy Birthday, man."

"Thanks a lot." he smiled a genuine smile for the second time ever since Friday's concert and hurried his way out onto the streets.

When you want your day to be different and when it did happened, you were either satisfied or vice-versa. Howie felt the latter. It was a sunny picture a while ago and the rain came drizzling down after fifty steps away from the hotel. Obviously, he didn't want to walk in the rain - which was starting to become a heavy downpour - because he didn't want to be sick for his party tonight. His typical birthday party. He sighed and scanned the area quickly for a place where he could keep himself dry. Arcade. Without any hesitation, he dashed for it.

Arriving inside the arcade, Howie noticed that there were only a couple of kids around. He took off his cap and reached into his pocket for a handkerchief to dry his face and a five-dollar note to exchange some tokens from the counter.

He hadn't played any games in a long time. Well, not counting the ones with Nick. But then, he didn't have much opportunity too. Nick's Nintendo playmate would always be Brian. Sometimes AJ or even the one person who sometimes wished that Nick would just go away; that would be Kevin. Howie don't really remember the last time he and Nick had played Nintendo together. Perhaps it was like, half a year ago? He shrugged. Spotting the car-racing machine, he went into it and put the required tokens into the slot.

After selecting his desired car, the screen flashed into the starting mode and the race began. Howie remembered how the arcade used to be a heaven for himself, Nick and AJ. Before they were famous, they'd hit the arcades on a weekly basis and would always try to battle each other out on any available game machines. For some strange reason, Nick loved to make fun of Howie's car racing skills. That little man would forever be making fun and picking on him. But Howie knew that it was because Nick loved him. That's a real mean way of loving Howie - as Brian always said after each time Nick made fun of him - and Nick would give Howie a wink after the comment was made. Just to show that he was being playful.

Either way, he was still being loved. After that horrible incident at backstage with some fans at the Friday's concert, it was kind of a miracle that he could pick up the fact that he was still being loved by people. Even if some didn't appreciate him. That Wednesday, three lucky fans got the chance to meet them backstage. It was the usual exciting moment for any fans until one of them make a stupid comment. "Even though it seems like nobody loves you, I would still love to have your autograph."

The other boys were certainly stunned there for a moment and Howie felt terrible. However, he smiled through it and signed her t-shirt. When they left the backstage, they immediately showered Howie with encouragements and dismissing what that fan had just said. "Perhaps she was just too excited that she didn't use her brain when she talked." He would've liked to believe AJ's words.

Howie groaned loudly as his car crashed. He sat there, just looking at the screen quietly after the game ended, when he overheard a conversation.

"I think Howie just came in here."

"Howie who?"

"Howie Dorough of the Backstreet Boys, dumbass!"

"Oh please, don't use that Nick-made-famous word on me again. Howie's supposed to be the dumbass."

"Shh... He might be around. Do you want him to hear us?"

"So what if he heard it? My favorite Backstreet Boy is AJ and not Howie. AJ's so dangerous and wild and Howie's just... I don't know... I don't like him at all and I wondered why he was in Backstreet Boys the first place."

"Lydia! How could you say that? How could you even call yourself a Backstreet fan when you're not supporting them as a group? I'm so gonna look down on you!"

"Hey, wait up! I'm just kidding...!"

Howie's face fell. Why in God's name must he be the most unloved one? Why him? The other four guys would always have a large crowd of fans hovering around them. Just not him. He was jealous, in one way or another. He couldn't deny it. But he never let that fact bother him. It's not that difficult to be nice to someone and why must those who don't love him hurt him so badly?

You don't love me, fine. Just don't hurt me.

He couldn't bear the thoughts anymore and dashed straight back to the hotel. Throwing the door open, he threw himself onto the bed and buried his head into the pillows.

"Howie! Are you awake yet?" Nick knocked on the door and was surprised to find the door unlocked. When he saw the older man lying on the bed with his face facing down, Nick almost screamed. "D! Yo, wake up, man! Don't scare me!" Howie sniffed and slowly sat himself up, his back facing Nick. "Jesus, D, you almost scared the daylights out of me! I thought something had happened." Nick said, relieved. "Hey, you wanna come to the hotel's restaurant now? 'Cause we've booked the whole place and prepared a special breakfast for you!"

"Something did happen."

Nick wiped his goofy grin off. "What?"

"Something did happen," Howie repeated and turn around to face Nick.

"You cried," Nick breathed, astonished to see his friend with a pair of puffy red tear-stained eyes. "What's wrong, D?" He asked, putting his arm around Howie and pulling him into a hug. "Tell me, please. It hurts me to see you crying."

"I know I sound like big cry-baby now... Why can't I be like you, Nick? Or even like AJ, Brian or Kevin? Why must I be me?" Howie cried. "I'm always the unpopular one, the ugly one... Why can't I be loved as much as everyone of you does?"

"Howie..." Nick whispered softly, "there are people who love you. You have your family and us. The fans too, Howie. Remember that huge purplish quilt blanket which you've received? A group of more than 100 fans made it just for you. And how Christina Ricci praises you for looking so suave with that hot Latino look? I'm not lying when I say that I'm really jealous, D," he said, pulling away from Howie. "What's so good about being like me? I do have people who despise me too, you know. People are saying that I whine more than I sing, and that I'm just greedy and that's why I'm getting bigger. I feel hurt and unloved too. But I never let that pull me down because I know that there are still people who love me even if it only comes down to a few sincere ones."

Howie starred blankly at Nick with a totally speechless look. "Is this you, Nick?"

"Huh?"

"I don't know what to say... You-" Howie smiled brightly. "You've hit me hard with those words of yours and that's really amazing."

Nick chuckled and began to sing. "Don't you ever wish you were someone else... You were meant to be the way you are exactly... Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are... When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far... And I hope you'll always stay the same... 'Cause there's nothing 'bout you I would change..." Nick sang with all his emotions and Howie gave Nick a big bear hug.

"Thank you, Nicky."

"You're loved, Howie," Nick said, returning the hug by squeezing the older man tighter. "I love you."

"I love you too." Howie said, his smile richer and brighter. "And you're loved, too."

Nick grinned cheekily. "Come on now, let's get to the restaurant before the guys start wondering what's going on. You wouldn't want to miss your birthday breakfast, 'cause I've prepared something special for you!"

"Hope that it's edible." he teased.

"Howie!"

"Alright, alright... We'll see." Howie laughed. 'And thank you for giving me this different and simple, yet meaningful gift.'

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